Numbers: One Bright Day
by KatCrawfield
Summary: What exactly was going through Damon's head when he tried to go out in flames  literally  in the season 2 finale, "As I Lay Dying?"


**This story is the beginning of a series of one-shots entitled "Numbers." This one-shot is told from Damon's point of view when he is ready to kill himself rather than go through the effects of being bitten by a werewolf.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, especially not the lines that you recognize.**

* * *

><p>"<strong>One Bright Day"<strong>

_How can I exist without a heartbeat? What is keeping me alive, besides the obvious? Why does my life cease to suck? I should've killed Tyler when I had the chance…_

Damon Salvatore stared out the picture window, memorizing the soft tree line at the edge of his property, the clear blue sky, the sounds of the leaves rustling in the wind… He heard everything, he saw everything, but nothing mattered. Not anymore.

He wasn't a bad guy, not really. Did he kill people? Occasionally; when they deserved it. He wasn't an evil, soulless thing. He was a man. But at that moment, Damon didn't feel like a man. He felt like nothing.

The sunlight spilled through the window, bathing Damon in the soft light of the half-risen sun. He closed his eyes, savoring the warmth that spread over his skin. That same beautiful warmth could easily kill him.

Damon leaned his hand up against the window frame, running his thumb along the smooth oak. He ran his thumb up and down. With the grain; that was Stefan. His golden brother. Stefan got his father's love, the friends, and the woman that Damon loved.

_Life sucks._

Damon ran his hand back and forth, from the left to the right; against the grain, like him. Damon had never been one to follow the rules. Even as a child, he'd pushed the limits. As a vampire, he was not one to be trifled with. Damon did whatever it took to keep her safe; no one mattered but her. Well, Stefan kind of mattered. Maybe.

Her. Elena. First he'd fallen in love with Katherine. His love for Katherine was the definition of "truly, madly, deeply." It had been wild and amazing, but she didn't love him back. Elena was everything that Katherine wasn't, regardless of their physical similarities. Katherine was a brutal, unforgiving snake; he couldn't even think of her as a woman anymore. Elena was kind, gentle, and loyal.

There was nothing Elena wouldn't do for the people she loved. Damon was the same.

Damon looked back to the sun until black spots danced in his vision. The spots were nothing compared with the poison leaking into his veins.

_Freaking werewolf. I should've just killed him_.

It burned into his veins, turning his blood black as it traveled further into his system. Damon tentatively touched his blackened forearm. Wincing from the immediate jolt of pain, Damon returned to glaring at his slowly rotting forearm.

Time. Apparently, it was something that Damon Salvatore didn't have much of.

The pain… Definitely not something that Damon was looking forward to. He remembered Rose. How she screamed and begged him to make it stop. And he did.

Standing in the full rays of the morning sun, Damon studied his ring, spinning it back and forth on his finger. Of course it was a bit gaudy, but he'd grown attached to it over the 149 years they'd been together. It had saved him countless times…and now it could make his pain go away…

He slowly removed his ring, letting it linger on the tip of his fingers before it clattered to the floor. Closing his eyes and focusing on the warmth, not the smell of burning flesh, Damon relaxed; everything could fade away now. He spread his arms out wide, absently thinking, _The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh—_

Suddenly, a warm(ish) body slammed into him, knocking him to the ground before hauling him up against the wall. Stefan. Of course it was St. Stefan. Damon struggled as he started to heal, but he was no match for Stefan in his weakened state. "Get off of me!"

Stefan pushed him more forcefully up against the wall, "I'm not letting you do this."

"Just did." Damon pushed his brother off of him, seething with anger and maybe…relief? Damon decided to stay with anger, "You saw what happened to Rose, Stefan."

"I don't care. You're not dying today." Uh oh. Little brother looked determined. At least he wasn't brooding… To Damon's surprise, Stefan rushed at him, throwing him down into the cellar before locking the door.

The impact Damon had with the floor took more than enough out of him; he barely manages to roll over. "What's the plan, Superman?" May as well go down with a witty rejoinder; it was better than nothing.

"I'm gonna find a way out of this." Oh. Little brother was _very _determined. That still didn't sway Damon's mind

He rolled his eyes, "Oh, right. A miracle cure. Good luck with that one."

Stefan looked Damon in the eye, a silent promise full of fear, "I got Bonnie looking for something, anything."

_Oh. So he doesn't have this all figured out…_

"Always the hero, Stefan." Damon managed to heave himself to his hands and knees, "Just tell me goodbye, get it over with…" Something was wrong; Damon's chest burned with an unholy fire. He tried to suck in a quick breath, but was suddenly overcome with a coughing fit; blood sprinkled the dirt as he collapsed, defeated.

"Lie still. Conserve your strength."

Damon watched his brother leave, memorizing Stefan's face and his voice just in case. Just in case Damon never got the chance to see him again. It turns out that there was one person that Damon was willing to sacrifice Elena to save. Not that he would ever admit it out loud…

* * *

><p><strong>R&amp;R Please. Let me know if I should continue the series.<strong>


End file.
